Fancy dress parties may once have been the sole preserve of kids, but as adults are increasingly infantile in the kind of entertainment that we seek out, there has been something of a resurgence in the popularity of such events, and scarcely a week goes by without at least one major fancy dress event taking place. Although some parties such as those at Halloween are easy enough to plan for, one of the trickiest things about fancy dress is that you need to strike a balance between outdoing everyone else, but not overreaching yourself and get it completely wrong.

The first rule of fancy dress is that you never tell anyone else what you are planning to wear. Ever. The reason for this is very simple. If things go wrong and your planned outfit does not go as planned, you will look like a complete idiot if you have told everyone in advance that you will be wearing a particular outfit and then turn up in something else.

The second rule of fancy dress is to innovate and not imitate. Try and think of something that is unique. I went to a party recently when one of the guys was dressed in nothing more than a pair of boxer shorts and was carrying his wife on his back:

“What have you come as?” I asked.
“A snail” he replied.
“What’s she?”
“She’s Michelle”
Absolute Genius!

The third rule of great fancy dress is to go completely over the top. If you are the kind of person who can be shy, an outrageous costume will give you loads of confidence and enable you to really enjoy yourself. If you are planning to go as a pirate, go as the pirate, don’t hold back, while you don’t need to go as far as having cut off your hand and leg to be convincing, the least you should do is wear a parrot and a moustache. Going over the top might also be interpreted as combining costumes. Be a Chinese Pirate, a Mexican Pirate, a gay pirate, whatever you want, just make sure you differentiate yourself from the rest of the crowd.

The fourth rule of great fancy dress is to choose a costume that does have some reflection on your interests. If you like star wars, go as a robot, if you’re a Superman fan, shave your head and go as Lex Luthor. Do not under any circumstances wear a skin tight latex outfit. It isn’t big, it isn’t clever, and the chances are that there isn’t a hole suitable for drinking through.

The fifth and final rule of great fancy dress is that you should always wear a costume that you can get out of easily, and that will not get in the way of having a good time. There is no point in going to a fancy dress party in the best costume ever, if all you end up doing for the whole evening is standing in a corner unable to drink or dance simply because you chose a costume that is too heavy, too uncomfortable, and too hard to move in to actually have a good time.

One final thing: Girls love Gorillas!